So, I was talking to a friend recently. Funny enough, she and I are going through the similar thing at the moment. We both stumbled across guys who have in a way changed the plan for us. They’ve come with intention and are seemingly backing up their intentions. They’re honest, open, sweet, and just great.
For her and her guy, he told her he deleted his dating apps after he met her because there is no one else who has his attention. In return, she told me that she did the same. All of that got me thinking, should I delete mine?
Now to get a tad personal and real, I’m dating now but a few years back I never knew how to date. Whenever I met a new guy, I focus on him and not keep my options open. We somehow fall into a relationship and things go from there. After taking a huge step back for a long time, I changed how I did things. I’ve become comfortable with dating, going out with different people or at least trying to. Keeping my options open and talking to other people.
But here comes Potential-Bae™. He is the happy wrench in the plans. He came into my life with full on intention. He is kind, sweet, very attentive, mindful, silly, nerdy, dorky, patient, smart, VERY self-aware….I could go on. Compared to the last guy I was entertaining, he’s truly captured my attention and I’m truly not interested in anyone else at the moment.
For like….the past 2 weekends, he’s pretty much spend the entire weekend at my place. 2 weekends ago, we went on a date. Museum hopping! Art museums, natural history museums…talking about what we were seeing. He was able to express his passion as a photographer and I was able to be a nerd. It was great! And like I said, he stayed with me the entire weekend. It was almost as if nothing mattered, nothing else existed but us. It was an experience.
Every time we talk, it’s a beautiful experience and a great memory. He gets me in so many ways and I hope, that I get him too. I’m so hopeful and so happy, but at the same time I have my doubts. We’ve never had the talk about where we’re going, I don’t know if he would want to do monogamy. To be very honest, for me that’s a huge deal and possibly a deal breaker. There are so many things here and yeah, I could probably bring it up but I’m nervous.
As a single millennial, the dream is to finally get off the dating apps. To leave all of the risks of getting unwanted dick pics, guys who fetishize my cosplays instead of appreciating them or caring about my creative passion, dealing with people who only wanna date black girls for kinks and not for real, abandoning woke white guys who wanna be down but still speak with white privilege, and just…having to weed through like 20 profiles for maybe 3 hopefuls who never reply back.
Because let’s be honest, as fun as these dating apps try to be, with the swiping and new ways to match with people, they get old fast. You end up seeing the same people across like 2-3 apps and no matter who you are, no one wants to reply back to even a ‘hi’ or worse…they can’t hold a conversation. It’s like, how do you tell a guy (or whomever) that if you can’t get my attention via text how can you hold it when we’re talking?
With all that said, it would be a wonderful day to never have to use those apps again, or at least not for a long ass while. And I want that to happen, and I feel that my time is soon. But until then, they’ll still be on my phone sadly. It’s just that I won’t care when those notifications come through telling me that my profile will be “hidden” if I don’t open the app soon.